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| Through the clouds
A candle
It was too much too soon to handle
So we saved it for the day
When mercedes returned with her arrow
Ah, but you couldn't wait
A shot through the sun
A shot through my heart | | |
| Farmers and Canadians are not mutually exclusive.
In the last week I have:
Went to Clinton Lake
Stayed up till at least 4 am every night
Went to Clinton Lake again in the rain at 5 am
Threw up for no reason
Ate one meal a day for four days straight
Drew on notecards
Drew on notecards with other people
Wrote poetry on notecards
Wrote lists that I never completed...on notecards...with sharpies
Drove by Clinton Lake
Had a "blitzkrieg of friends night" where i called a large portion of my friends in one night and hung out with each individual for short amounts of time before calling the next and driving to hang out with them
Made videos of me and a group of friends trying to keep a large fuzz ball in the air by blowing as hard as we could
Made videos of me and a group of friends trying to slap cork coasters around without letting them drop and without catching them
Danced a lot
Dj'd down at a mexican restaurant in downtown kcmo for my mom's 50th bday
Danced to disco music with my old babysitter
Played daddy yankee for the 50 years olds because of a request from my kind-of-sister Lupe
Made a couple beats
Got a haircut from Lindsey Campion
Found a large bruise over my liver
Woke up at 7 am after two hours of sleep because of hail only to decide that I HAD to go to wal-mart to buy an umbrella and go to Clinton Lake
Thought about writing a paper early
Got worried because I didn't write a paper early, therefore requiring that I write it at the last second
Figured out my life plan
Realized that my life plan was too idealistic
Decided that I shouldn't worry about being too idealistic
Started worrying again about my life plan being too idealistic
Painted a shirt with oil paint
Got some of that paint on my seatbelt
Got hired to dj a wedding reception in september
Found out some things I didn't know
Rediscovered many things I did know
Forgot a couple things I wanted to forget
Watched almost no TV
Bought 25$ worth of liquid at the grocery store
Thought about getting another job
Thought about waiting until fall when I am broke before I get another job
Squished my pet ant
Finally washed my clothes
Realized how close the end of school is
Procrastinated
Received a new found optimism from who knows where
Got depressed
But was still optimistic nonetheless
Met a couple people
Tied some knots
Ate only half of a chipotle burrito before getting full
Got sad about that
Thought about lifting weights again
Realized my liver would hurt too much
Went to Clinton lake at 4 am
Had no dreams
Besides.
| | |
| when the mexican sun sets
there won't be anymore
We have come. free as birds.
we took ourselves up the mountain
and we found the tree
we broke the divide.
between currency and the desert
| | |
| So I'm at work and my wrist is burning from entering data.
But that's not the point of this story. The point is that these three
middle eastern looking dudes just came in. They all kind of sounded
like Borat from Da Ali G show. The ring leader
looked straight at me and said "hi." It was insane.
No actually the insane part is that these guys had this unbelievably
hard to understand accent. The ringleader said " dew yew noh iff yew
hov zthe boke grahmmRr rewlss?" I had no idea what book he was talking
about so I took them over to the grammar section and said that those
were all the books we had on grammer. Then, one of the other guys
said "yew hov audor azar?"
I didn't really know what he had said but after asking them all to
repeat it about seven times, I finally gave up and said. Can you spell
that name?
I looked at one of the guys. He looked at me. Clearly neither of us
understood a word the other was saying. He looked at his friend. His
friend looked at me. I looked at his friend.
His friend said, and i quote:
"P-R-E-T-T-Y"
Now, I honestly have no idea why he spelled the word "pretty" to me
when I asked how to spell Azar, and I don't think the rin g l e ad er
did either. He turned to me. I turned to him. And he said "No no no,
eet iz A-Z-A-R"
Then his friend goes "NO, eet iz P-R-E-T-T-Y!"
Now I don't know what happened after that. I think I blanked out from
too much stress. It was probably the scariest most confusing moment of
my life.
p.S. April ( the girl who I am currently working with) thinks that the
above accents I tried so hard to spell phoenetically perfect sounded
first like russian and later like french.
Don't listen to her. She is mean and probably has a learning disability.
| | |
| Watching all my demons and angels cry for help and cry for me
I'm not sure what it is that attracts when there are no magnets
Forces of course but I'm not sure of the nature of the term
There is nothing devoid of something and I am not devoid of someone
I am dreading that day when I will be caught red handed on the sidewalk
Stuck in the concrete; my feet reverse time and sink down in
I will have to hide most of what I wish to say and I will have to hide a face
that is poking out from behind my shirt with lips sweeter than anything you've ever seen
When I've said my goodbye, my body will, being struck with a bolt of lightning, split in two. I am reborn.
free to walk and sleep and dream of anything that the human mind is capable,
but stuck remembering i once left myself covered in concrete down in hell
that is the old me and it is not me but it still haunts me and it will always hurt me
forever and on and on and so and on on and on
photographs can catch you at your worst yes
I really hope I'm doing my best
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